...so i touched it.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
