i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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