I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
