Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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