Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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