Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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