so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
