i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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