I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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