How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
