I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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