Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
