i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
