Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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