im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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