so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
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I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
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Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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