And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
