I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
