watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
