dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
no, he came in my armpit
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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