The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
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The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
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I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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