During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
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