I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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