Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
