What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
