Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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