I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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