Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
i now understand why vodka
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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