I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
