everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
tequila makes me forget i have legs
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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