hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
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