"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
