oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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