why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm just crazy horny about you
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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