ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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