I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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