smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'm at about main and main street
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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