Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
