why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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