Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
