Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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