I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
