I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
