the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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