Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
