I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
