I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
