who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
