Sponge bath it is.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
