That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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