Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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