we have officially lost it.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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