I'll bet she douches with gravy.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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