Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Congratulations! We have a period
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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