you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
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