worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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