Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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