dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
