whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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