remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize