he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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