"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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