Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
