im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
