the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I need to sanitize my soul.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
