I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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